messy
Not long ago the NYTimes did a piece on how dangerous it is for cyclists in the city. For effect, the article weaved a narrative throughout in which they followed a guy who bikes from his home in Brooklyn to his office in Manhattan. The guy complained specifically about Jay Street in Brooklyn.
So on Tuesday I got hit by a car on Jay Street when coming back from work. It was kinda dramatic in that I kinda slid up on the hood of the car. Guess who hit me? A cop. He apparently didn't want to stop at the stoplight. Anyway, besides a few scrapes and bruises, I'm totally fine. My bike? Not so much.
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You know how seven (or so) month olds are trouble when they become mobile? They get into cabinets, have no regard for the dog's feeding dish, love to pick up stray shoes, and generally make a mess of everything in their path.
That's Ira right now. He's just ten months behind schedule. But it matters not. The therapists are excited and Laura and I have never been so tolerant of making messes! Ira is everywhere he wants to be.
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I just said that it "matters not" that Ira is behind schedule but if I'm absolutely truthful I would confess my prejudice against weakness. I think I've always known this but it is made more evident in my day to day dealings with Ira. Like most westerners and definitely most Americans, I was raised to be strong and to make for myself. This rearing wasn't all of my mom and dad's doing but the culture surrounding me. It's hard not to be frustrated with Ira and his inability to do as most eighteen-month-old kids do. It's hard not to place blame on him. It's hard to keep perspective.
I struggle daily with this prejudice of mine and I'm reminded daily of how big a jerk I am for even considering being frustrated with Ira. I make this "blog confession" only to add a bit of reality to this journey and to ask for your prayers.
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So on Tuesday I got hit by a car on Jay Street when coming back from work. It was kinda dramatic in that I kinda slid up on the hood of the car. Guess who hit me? A cop. He apparently didn't want to stop at the stoplight. Anyway, besides a few scrapes and bruises, I'm totally fine. My bike? Not so much.
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You know how seven (or so) month olds are trouble when they become mobile? They get into cabinets, have no regard for the dog's feeding dish, love to pick up stray shoes, and generally make a mess of everything in their path.
That's Ira right now. He's just ten months behind schedule. But it matters not. The therapists are excited and Laura and I have never been so tolerant of making messes! Ira is everywhere he wants to be.
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I just said that it "matters not" that Ira is behind schedule but if I'm absolutely truthful I would confess my prejudice against weakness. I think I've always known this but it is made more evident in my day to day dealings with Ira. Like most westerners and definitely most Americans, I was raised to be strong and to make for myself. This rearing wasn't all of my mom and dad's doing but the culture surrounding me. It's hard not to be frustrated with Ira and his inability to do as most eighteen-month-old kids do. It's hard not to place blame on him. It's hard to keep perspective.
I struggle daily with this prejudice of mine and I'm reminded daily of how big a jerk I am for even considering being frustrated with Ira. I make this "blog confession" only to add a bit of reality to this journey and to ask for your prayers.
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posted by jch at
3:24 PM
5 Comments:
Joe, I think you are thoroughly human. It is natural to want the best for our children, and it has to be hard to watch Ira struggle so hard to reach developmental milestones that other kids his age passed awhile back.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Y'all are doing remarkably well with incredible burdens.
I have a similar struggle with my son with autism. He's seven but is developmentally closer to three or four. It's hard to hear him go off into delayed echolalia when other kids are holding conversations with their parents and peers.
Don't have much advice for you; just wanted to let you know I can relate.
Good move on being tolerant of Ira's messes!
Joe, thanks for the honesty. That specific struggle has always been in my prayers for you and Laura. Having two younger siblings with differing extreme special needs has really been a conviction in my life of meeting people where they are and moving forward instead of buying into the "normal" standard that is more commonly set. It is so hard to not be frustrated sometimes. I remember when I was still living at home with my younger brother who wasn't supposed to walk or talk or play, and everyday I am amazed at his imagination and running and constant chatter. . .but being patient with how he processed the world and the special time-line that life had given him was so hard then.
I think his life has been the greatest lesson in patience I have ever learned. I will continue to pray for your family in all the ways I can think of and ask God's Spirit to fill in all the ways I'm not even aware of. In wearing my Ira bracelet this month, I got to tell a room full of mothers about a special kid I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet and then a table full of classmates at a reunion the same story. Ira's little life is touching people in amazing ways. The comment I hear most when asked about my green bracelet is how cool it is that a friend would do that and how cool it is that so many would make a long-term commitment to prayer like that.
Ira is already an incredible force for God. Yeah God! Yeah Ira!
Oh my goodness.... you were hit by a car?! SCARY. I am so glad you are okay. And that's pretty ironic you got hit by a cop.
Thanks for your honesty (as always). I'm glad to hear that Ira is getting around and hitting milestones, no matter how late!
calissa
All that I could say has already been said. I so appreciate your authenticity, and I'll continue to pray for all of you. Stay the course!
Anne
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