So how is Sophia doing?
My mom says she is often asked about Sophia. I guess people wonder how she's coping with Ira being home and possibly, how she relates to Ira. Let me address the latter of those concerns, first.
She embraces Ira full-on...both metaphorically and literally. She loves to *read* to Ira and loves to dance for him. She loves to give Ira big bear hugs that often result in her knocking him to the ground. He loves it. When Ira ventures out with us, Sophia is like a little child on Christmas morning. She's giddy at just the thought of it. And at every Family Time, Sophia's prayer is "thank you that Ira's home and feeling better." She loves having him home.
As for the first concern - how Sophia is coping - allow me to relay two stories that might shed light on her processing. She and I went to the neighborhood diner several weeks ago. We ordered our usual - The Lumberjack. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, OJ and chocolate milk. A family walked in the restaurant. The daughter was an elementary aged special needs child. Sophia was immediately drawn to her. The girl was drawn to Sophia. The girl stopped at our table and they communicated as best they could. Sophia held out her hand. The girl grabbed it. They just stared into each others eyes. The mom said, "You have a beautiful daughter." I replied, "You do too."
A couple of weeks ago, the whole family went to a playground in Brooklyn Heights. It was a beautiful day and everyone was out with their kids. The playground was packed. Of all the kids Sophia could have played with, she chose the little girl with Down Syndrome. Their encounter didn't last long as we were on our way home. The little girl followed us to the gate. Sophia didn't want to leave. They were grasping for each other like sisters who hadn't seen each other in years.
Sophia is absolutely three-and-a-half years old which translates into her being a little brat on many occasions. But I would rather the stories above define how she is coping with Ira's presence in our home rather than the meltdown she had tonight because I wouldn't let her have chocolate before bed. Deep inside Sophia is a tenderness that I'm not sure she would experience if it weren't for Ira.
Overall, I think Sophia is coping just fine and she absolutely adores having her brother home. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
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She embraces Ira full-on...both metaphorically and literally. She loves to *read* to Ira and loves to dance for him. She loves to give Ira big bear hugs that often result in her knocking him to the ground. He loves it. When Ira ventures out with us, Sophia is like a little child on Christmas morning. She's giddy at just the thought of it. And at every Family Time, Sophia's prayer is "thank you that Ira's home and feeling better." She loves having him home.
As for the first concern - how Sophia is coping - allow me to relay two stories that might shed light on her processing. She and I went to the neighborhood diner several weeks ago. We ordered our usual - The Lumberjack. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, OJ and chocolate milk. A family walked in the restaurant. The daughter was an elementary aged special needs child. Sophia was immediately drawn to her. The girl was drawn to Sophia. The girl stopped at our table and they communicated as best they could. Sophia held out her hand. The girl grabbed it. They just stared into each others eyes. The mom said, "You have a beautiful daughter." I replied, "You do too."
A couple of weeks ago, the whole family went to a playground in Brooklyn Heights. It was a beautiful day and everyone was out with their kids. The playground was packed. Of all the kids Sophia could have played with, she chose the little girl with Down Syndrome. Their encounter didn't last long as we were on our way home. The little girl followed us to the gate. Sophia didn't want to leave. They were grasping for each other like sisters who hadn't seen each other in years.
Sophia is absolutely three-and-a-half years old which translates into her being a little brat on many occasions. But I would rather the stories above define how she is coping with Ira's presence in our home rather than the meltdown she had tonight because I wouldn't let her have chocolate before bed. Deep inside Sophia is a tenderness that I'm not sure she would experience if it weren't for Ira.Overall, I think Sophia is coping just fine and she absolutely adores having her brother home. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
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posted by jch at
8:21 PM
8 Comments:
Your stories about Sophia remind me of Jesus' words...
... "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. ..."
We can learn a lot from children.
-JIM
What great Sophia stories. You have such special kids.
Joe,
Thanks for sharing these stories! I love and have learned much from our brother Henri Nouwen (his experience at Daybreak), but Sophia makes him look like a hack! You have truly been blessed with inspiring children. Thanks for passing that blessing along to us.
-Russ
Joe,thanks for "minding your Momma" and talking about how Sophia is doing and posting a new picture of my wonderful grandchildren (for all the world to admire)!!!! I mentioned to you that I attended a gathering of friends Wednesday and so many of them asked for an up-date on Ira and info about how Sophia is coping with living in a home with a sick brother who requires lots of attention. You replied, "There's only so much you can post when nothing has changed."
Y'all have been wonderful about sharing the concerns, hurts, and joys of your everyday lives over the past 18 months. And while those of us not involved in your every minute/hour/day lives continue to pray (and sometimes ache) about your tiredness, your stresses, your love, your faith...we get wrapped up in our own lives and are able to "forget" for moments that Ira continues to fight like the brave little soldier he is. God has so blessed us with his precious life, and I thank God everytime I think about Ira and how hard he works to breathe and eat and use underdeveloped muscles. I have loved spending time with Sophia in person and on the phone when she answers every question, "Ooooh
yeeeaaah, Baby." She is one of the most delightful, tenderest 3 1/2 year olds anywhere. And she does love her brother!!!!
So you and Laura and Sophia and Ira keep on hanging on. Your family has been a tremendous example of perseverence to me and so many others who love you so much.
There's a new Clint Eastwood movie out about WWII....something about "our Fathers"....I understand that the movie tells the story of the six soldiers who raised the flag on Iwo Jima, one of whom was a Native American named Ira Hayes. Three of the soldiers in that famous flag-raising photo died on Iwo Jima within a month after the photo was made. The other three, including Ira Hayes, were pulled from "fighting" duty to sell US bonds. Evidently, their Iwo Jima experience influenced the rest of their lives as depicted in Johnny Cash's song, "The Drunken Ira Hayes." This comment reminds readers of this blog that OUR Ira Hays is named after his two great-grandfathers who served in WWII, Ira Lambert and Lester Heintz. Ira Lester Hays has indeed been a soldier all his life; his great-granddaddies would be so proud of him...and Sophia...and Laura...and you, Joe.
Love, prayers, and peace,
Mom/Gram/Glo
Such sweet stories about Sophia. I think Ira's life will continue to be a blessing in so many unexpected ways. His sister's love for others may be just one that shows through right now. We continue to think of your family often.
Joe & Laura:
Hello from Texas! My 19-year-old Aubrey just moved to NY to attend a musical theater school in the Upper West side. She attended ACU last year but wanted more intense training and, with the Lord's blessing, she made it into a musical theater conservatory there in NY. She wants to find a church home there and was referred to Manhatten Church of Christ by a teacher at ACU that recently lived in NY and whose parents are still there. She also had heard about your church, Joe, and stated an interest (although she realizes it might be hard to get up and travel that far on Sundays--she IS 19 years old!). Anyway, I would love for you to contact her if you get a second, and just touch base with her. What a blessing it would be if you and Laura could be a part of her life in any way. I remember you and Laura sharing your love story with my two girls one night at our house--before you guys left for your grad school. You may contact Aubrey at adl04e@acu.edu. Please send me your e-mail address at GLubojasky@aol.com. I have read your blog throughout Ira's life here on earth and have cried and laughed and prayed as you have poured your heart out on this blog site. I know your life is full, so allow the Spirit to guide you in this matter. Tell Laura HELLO and next time I am up there visiting Aubrey, I would love to see you guys and meet your precious children! In Him, Gaynor Lubojasky
It seems that Sophia has already heard God's calling for her life.
I am sure there are days when it's hard to watch both of your children suffer (physically and emotionally) but it looks like in an environment of love and support, Sophia has tapped into her amazing empathy, something that too many people lack.
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