Wednesday, December 10, 2003


It’s been a while since I blogged last. It’s been a while since I’ve spent significant time downtown. Why is that? Probably because I’m in a fog. I’m not sure what to do or where to go. I made several attempts to garner up the energy to go and do but I didn’t know where to go or what to do! My intentions were good…but you know what they say about good intentions. Yikes!

So listed below are some current struggles I’m dealing with concerning the church plant:

1) I’m struggling with Pride

This beast rears it’s ugly head in many nuanced ways. For example, because this church plant is a big risk there is the possiblitiy of it not happening; of it not working; of it flopping on it’s face while crying “Uncle!” My pride does not want to deal with failure. On the flip side, I also don’t want to walk away because of this inherent risk. You want to know why? Because my pride won’t let me! Ridiculous, huh? Another example, my pride will not allow me to think about the possibility of this church plant as not my calling. I’ve taken this initial step and could not imagine stepping away from this…simply because it would hurt my pride to think I’m not cut out for this. Pride can be an ugly thing! (Pride is not necessarily or inherently bad but we’ll save this for another day.)

2) I’m struggling with understanding how our Sunday morning gathering will look

What should our corporate worship look like? Who will lead it? How can we step outside the box while also understanding and respecting tradition? I want us to think in post-modern ways while maintaining some of the institutional marks of our tradition. Is this possible? Is there anyone creative enough out there to help me think through these possibilities? Imagine this: on a Sunday, instead of meeting in a facility we meet in Central Park where our corporate worship centers around nature, Psalm 150, etc. or on another Sunday a group of people gather and take part in a liturgical service where old traditional phrases are spoken, sang and prayed, on another Sunday we spend our time at a soup kitchen. Is this possible? If flies in the face of conventional understanding of how church works. It is certainly worth thinking about!

3) I’m struggling with the “when” of this church plant

It’s been expressed by a couple of people that Jan. ’05 is too soon? When is just right? How much more prep work can I do? Argh!

Lord, please forgive me of my pride. I have allowed it to creep in and rule much of my life. I’m sorry that I care that much about myself. Help me to cast my eyes on you and only you. I pray that you might lead me as I struggle with how this church plant might look and act. Please give me vision as to when the launch should happen. All of this is in your hands. As the great John the Baptist prayed, less of me, Lord, more of you! Amen.