You Mean He's Not Real?
I'm having a conversation with my friend via e-mail and we're discussing the whole Santa dilemma - What do we tell our kids about him?
So let me ask you, Do you do the Santa thing with your kids? Why or why not?
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So let me ask you, Do you do the Santa thing with your kids? Why or why not?
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posted by jch at
12:55 PM
6 Comments:
We do Santa -- and I love it. My kids, 9 and 11, KNOW the truth -- but are not allowed to speak of it in front of me. To settle it in my own brain, I think of Santa as what others call the "Christmas Spirit" -- that little extra bit of giddy and kindness that comes in December. So, yes, I believe that SOMETHING makes us all nicer to each other for a brief while (and, as a school teacher, makes all the children vibrate as if they just left Starbuck's). That's how we play along at my house -- and I know other people who call it "The Santa Game" with their children. That works, too.
We took Lydia & Jacob to Crestwood Mall the day after Thanksgiving to see "someone pretending to be Santa Claus" arrive in a helicopter at 8 in the morning. Not much more discussion of it - she was excited to see him, along with the other characters there - the Cat in the Hat, Scooby Doo, the Grinch, etc.
This morning, Lydia did her preschool Christmas show. As the kids sang their final number, they were surprised to see Santa Claus come in from the rear, parade up and down the aisle, waving to everyone. Lydia lit up as soon as she saw him and waved feverishly at SC. When she told us about it later, our 3 year old said "it wasn't really Santa Claus, it was somebody's parent."
So we've circumvented the issue for now, and she's working it out in her own way.
Gosh, I believed in Santa Claus until... wait, I still do! And I think I'm OK.
Do whatever your heart wants to do.
I did it for me, because I loved doing it, and because I loved the light in the smiles of my babies on Christmas morning. Reality sets in soon enough. We did the half-eaten cookies, the half-eaten carrots, hay, miniature marshmallows (reindeer like treats, too, you know), even the footprints on the carpet. The first year I made footprints, I was out of anything white and powdery except powdered sugar, but it made beautiful sifted footprints. The next morning, our little shih-tzu had licked up most of them!
We've always included the spiritual side of Christmas, too. Included in our family tradition is the candlelight reading around our tree of Luke 2 KJV-Linus style, and an all-white birthday cake for Jesus (made with white cloud frosting, no less).
We've always been Secret Santas for a family chosen through the public schools. If you know a teacher, they choose those who need you the most. My kids can't keep secrets - but they could keep this one! They loved shopping for other kids and being a Santa. Maybe this helped them understand that Santa was not real even before they wanted to ask, but something more, something personal, a missionary of sorts, a servant. It taught them that it isn't about receiving. It's about giving.
And when the time came that they asked, they already knew. Did I dispel the myth? Not on your life! My response: "If you don't believe, he won't come." Even now, as they are 18 and 15, they like an unwrapped present under the tree left by "Santa" on Christmas morning.
Joe, if you don't believe, he won't come. I believe! Do you??
My parents have always done Santa, but I kind of always connected him with literary characters. My family is very nerdy, and we've always read a lot of history and folklore for fun. Even from my childhood, I knew different Santa legends from around the world. So, he was this interesting idea of hope and fun surprises mixed into an exciting Christmas morning experience. Because my parents still have a house full of young children all the time, we still talk about Santa. . .but he's never been the main event.
We also never really connected the birth of Christ to Christmas in formal or concrete ways. So, that eliminated the possibility of confusion between Jesus and Santa for us. I don't think that was a conscience decision on my parents' part. . .they just didn't grow up in a faith tradition that openly supported Christmas as Christ's birth.
We aren't doing the Santa thing. In fact, we're pretty "get thee behind me Santa."
That's sort of a joke. We don't knock Santa, he just doesn't come up. For us, Christmas is about Jesus and so we make the anticipation about Jesus and not about Santa. We celebrate advent and do candles and have a nightly routine with Harry.
When he demands excitedly to do advent and lights up at "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come" the way we did at "Santa!", we consider it well worth it.
At this point, he's 2 and isn't coming into regular contact with a lot of kids doing Santa talk. As he does, we'll acknowledge the story and talk about where it comes from, but we'll never try to get him to believe in Santa. Mostly because Santa isn't real.
All said and done, I don't fault anyone who does the Santa thing, we just found Santa to be a distraction if what we really want Harry to associate Christmas with is Jesus' birth. In the same way that Harry knew it was his birthday on September 22nd because we made the day about Harry, we make Christmas about Jesus. If we said "It's your birthday, but we're going to talk about an imaginary fat man all day" I'm not sure he'd have gotten it.
p.s. my humor tends to be so dry it cracks. please don't mistake that for angst or Scroogeness.
We talk about Santa but the kids know it's not real. I don't think it's right to pretend Santa is real because to the kids it's the same as God being real. I don't like to lie to the kids.
But we read the stories and do stockings; the kids just know it's from us.
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