I spent a good amount of time on Saturday afternoon talking with a couple of NICU nurses. They asked me the following: "After being in this environment for two weeks and taking it all in, don't you think this is a strange place?" I chose my words carefully. If I said, "yes, this is a strange place," then it could have been interpreted by the nurses that their own selves contributed to the strangeness; therefore, making them strange. If I answered, "no, this isn't so strange," then there was the possibility that I was somehow lessening their work experience equating it with other mundane professions. Okay so I was overanalyzing the question but this is what came out of my mouth: "it's strange in that it is so intense. There aren't many jobs out there that require this much attention and deal so heavily in the realm of life and death."
One nurse liked the answer and direction of the conversation and added: "this job has changed my perspective on life. I don't worry if my son comes home with a 'B' in math or if I get a bigger house with more space or a nicer car because I'm just so happy that my family is alive and healthy. That's what matters. That's what this job has taught me."
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Some observations I've made while "living" in the NICU:
1) Reality! Not all these babies go home. I was talking with the dad who has been here for three months and counting. He's seen babies who have not made it. I have yet to see that but I know of families who are having to make very difficult decisions. This reality makes church conversations about whether or not we should use instrumental music or who's in and who's out seem ridiculous. The reality of NICU is that these innocent beings are struggling for life. Some make it and some don't.
2) Shhh! The nurses take their jobs seriously and have high ethical standards they observe. I learned quickly not to ask the nurses about other patients as they will not say a word. I'm pretty sure they would withstand interrogations of the worst kind without forfeiting any information. Those of us in counseling positions should learn from this group of nurses about what confidentiality means.
3) Amen! You've heard it said that there are no atheists in foxholes at wartime? The same could be said of parents in the NICU. In the many conversations I've had with other parents God comes up every time (and most don't know that I'm a pastor). And these parents are genuine. They aren't faking it. It's not that it's convenient because I'm pretty sure they are as pissed as I am that their babies are struggling. It's just that while the technology is incredible and our health care professionals are outstanding there is an assumption that there has to be more at work here to get these babies better.
One nurse liked the answer and direction of the conversation and added: "this job has changed my perspective on life. I don't worry if my son comes home with a 'B' in math or if I get a bigger house with more space or a nicer car because I'm just so happy that my family is alive and healthy. That's what matters. That's what this job has taught me."
----------------------
Some observations I've made while "living" in the NICU:
1) Reality! Not all these babies go home. I was talking with the dad who has been here for three months and counting. He's seen babies who have not made it. I have yet to see that but I know of families who are having to make very difficult decisions. This reality makes church conversations about whether or not we should use instrumental music or who's in and who's out seem ridiculous. The reality of NICU is that these innocent beings are struggling for life. Some make it and some don't.
2) Shhh! The nurses take their jobs seriously and have high ethical standards they observe. I learned quickly not to ask the nurses about other patients as they will not say a word. I'm pretty sure they would withstand interrogations of the worst kind without forfeiting any information. Those of us in counseling positions should learn from this group of nurses about what confidentiality means.
3) Amen! You've heard it said that there are no atheists in foxholes at wartime? The same could be said of parents in the NICU. In the many conversations I've had with other parents God comes up every time (and most don't know that I'm a pastor). And these parents are genuine. They aren't faking it. It's not that it's convenient because I'm pretty sure they are as pissed as I am that their babies are struggling. It's just that while the technology is incredible and our health care professionals are outstanding there is an assumption that there has to be more at work here to get these babies better.
posted by jch at
8:43 AM
5 Comments:
Joe & Laura,
Harvey had dinner with us on Sunday evening, during which we learned of Ira's condition. There's little for us to do here in St. Louis, except to keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers. Please know that Melissa and I'll be doing that throughout this very difficult period.
Ron
Thank you Joe for your observations. I see them too. And God bless those people who give of themselves in these situations. It is exhausting to them as well, trying to say the right things, and still be honest in their evaluations. I think its harder than we think. So in seeing this, I lift up those healthcare workers, to continue to have a soft heart for their patients, and to continue to hum songs of praise and worship like I heard Noah's nurse singing yesterday. Hold my arm brother, and lets pray.....
steve
just know that a hand full of middle schoolers are concerned and praying for Ira every week. there are so many people praying for ya'll and we won't stop...
cody b
We went to a NICU reunion a couple of weeks ago and were able to see a couple of our nurses including my favorite nurse there. It was amazing the way she remembered everything about Gabriel and how he was doing while she was there. She was his nurse on his toughest day, and now we have a picture of them together. We will always remember her as an answer to prayer because of her kind and encouraging words to us when Gabe was at his lowest. She took great care of him also - was so kind and tender with him. Thank you, Lord, for these people who take care of our babies when we can't and who do it so well.
Kaley
To follow what Kaley said, I was just going to log on and comment about how odd it was for me to leave the relationship with the nurses who cared for our daughter for 11 days in the nursery. Then I read Kaley's comment. Kaley, what a neat idea and opportunity to have a reunion!
The nurses we had were also wonderful. They talked with us (while they did their job), listened, educated, encouraged, counseled, etc., while helping our little girl as her body learned to adapt to taking in and using oxygen. It is hard to find words to capture that type of relationship. In our case, we had very little notice that we were all going home, and it still seems I never got to say a proper goodbye. They invited us to come back and visit, but in reality, they had others to tend to, and it seemed always a threat to expose the baby to the germs in hospital (it was RSV season when we left).
All that is to share some foresight from our hindsight. I am grateful you have great nurses tending Ira and supporting you through this time.
Beverly McCallon
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