I'm fully aware that most of you come here to check on the status of Ira. I'm aware that when I venture into other realms such as politics, religion, pop culture and the like that I lose you. I lose you because either you don't care about these subjects or - and this is much more likely - you don't give a flip what I have to say about these subjects. And who could blame you? "Just stick to news about Ira, darnit!" (I so wanted to use the more provocative synonym for "darnit" just now!)
So until Ira gets to come home I'll continue to post on his progress. And as he is weaned from the medicine and machines, you too will be weaned from this blog I'm sure. But I ask that you be patient with me for there are other things I want to say: feelings not associated with Ira I want to share, questions I have to ask, thoughts I want to express.
I've wanted to write about how one makes plural a proper noun like "Hays" that ends with "s" and how one makes it possessive.
I've wanted to write about my daily one hour subway commute to and from the house and hospital.
I've wanted to express my angst about living in New York City and the financial toll it takes on the average family.
I've wanted to discuss common misconceptions of prayer.
I've wanted to ask for advice as to what I should put on my iPod workout playlist.
I've wanted to reveal that when I sneeze I sound just like my dad and that I'm afraid I'm balding just like my dad too.
So I hope that you'll be patient with me if every now and then I slip in something that is not Ira related.
So until Ira gets to come home I'll continue to post on his progress. And as he is weaned from the medicine and machines, you too will be weaned from this blog I'm sure. But I ask that you be patient with me for there are other things I want to say: feelings not associated with Ira I want to share, questions I have to ask, thoughts I want to express.
I've wanted to write about how one makes plural a proper noun like "Hays" that ends with "s" and how one makes it possessive.
I've wanted to write about my daily one hour subway commute to and from the house and hospital.
I've wanted to express my angst about living in New York City and the financial toll it takes on the average family.
I've wanted to discuss common misconceptions of prayer.
I've wanted to ask for advice as to what I should put on my iPod workout playlist.
I've wanted to reveal that when I sneeze I sound just like my dad and that I'm afraid I'm balding just like my dad too.
So I hope that you'll be patient with me if every now and then I slip in something that is not Ira related.
posted by jch at
7:43 PM
17 Comments:
joe, i like to read everything you write. as a matter of fact, as much as i need the daily updates on ira, as do so many others, the diversity of your thoughts is the most interesting. so there.
also, for everyone in blog-land... my boyfriend bryan and i live right above the hayseseses (that's how i will plural-ize your last name) and if i wasn't so self-involved with studying for the bar, i would want to knock on their door every single second and ask if they needed help: a baby-sitter, a dog-walker, something from the drugstore, a hug... but something else keeps me away too. and this is my reverse question for joe and the rest of you: what do you do when you're afraid you'll bother someone, in crisis, by asking too much if they need help? should one err on the side of more or less?
thanks for the random thoughts today. it gives my life purpose beyond how many days in new york a defendant has to serve an impleader complaint on a third-party defendant who is contributorily negligent to the plaintiff.
p.s. i agree that new york is frustrating and expensive. and amazing amazing amazing. i bet you know that from your long subway rides. don't leave until we do!
Oh joy! The Word Nerd in me is always happy to answer grammar questions!
THe official plural form of Hays is Hayses. "The Schneiders are going to NYC to visit the Hayses."
The possessive form of the plural form of Hays depends on how you want to pronounce it. "I read the Hays' blog every day" is correct. That's how I say it out loud. "The Hayses' subway passes expire next month" is also correct, if you pronounce it that way. If you're not talking about a plural possessive, the answer is still the same... it depends on how you pronounce it. "Joe Hays's sneeze sounds just like his Dad's" is correct. "Ira Hays' parents are exhausted" is also correct. Clear as mud? :)
I want to hear about your subway rides and life in NY and common misconceptions. I can't say I care much about politics, and I don't work out, so I'm not much help there... but change the subject all you want. You won't lose me! :)
To be honest, Joe, until I started reading this blog, you were always just "Laura's husband." Now I feel like I am getting to know you, too! I have to admit that I have really been riveted to this blog to check on Ira's progress, but I really enjoy your off-topic thoughts, as well. It must be difficult to live a "normal" life while living the "abnormal" one at the same time. Just write what is on your heart and those of us addicted to this blog will enjoy whatever you post.
Beth in Raleigh
Joe and Laura, Not sure how or if you want to answer this but is there a fund that those of us who might want to donate to your cause could do so? As far as I am concerned, you can do what you want with the moola...Starbucks on the train, ipod downloads, parking, toys for Sophia, college, baby food...whatever. Many of us don't know you personally and so don't have a tangible way of offering assistance during this tough time. But many of us would like to I am sure.
God Bless
Okay, so I'll post on this at some point but things have changed, Kate. Stacy has it right. Fowler's Modern English Usage, along with my favorite Eats, Shoots & Leaves, suggests that "es" is added to make plural a proper noun that ends with "s". Modern names are made possesive with the addition of an apostrophe and "s".
And I should note that my sister, who is an esteemed English grader for the Texas A&M Chemical Engineering Department, agrees. She says, "I know these rules make the word 'Hays' look funny, but there is nothing funny about excellent puntctuation." Yes, she's drunk on Eats, Shoots & Leaves too.
No, we have not set up a fund to help our cause. It's also been asked if our insurance coverage is adequate. And thus far it seems that it is holding up.
Last fall and winter Laura and I delivered food for a neighborhood restaurant to keep our heads above water. For now, we are doing okay.
Thanks for the inquiry and your willingness to give. If you want to discuss this further e-mail me at joechays@yahoo.com.
I am so far removed from American culture that I have no idea what an iPod can do. It sounds pretty cool though...
I agree with the others and dont mind the other things that are floating in your head but find them interesting. Especially when you ask though provoking, out of the box questions.
Keep 'em coming!
Love,
Brielle Gage
Joe, had a lot of time to think as I was "trimming trees" today (the trees that line the road to our house; the trees that don't really look like trees). Of course, if I had really been thinking, I probably wouldn't have been out there in the 90+ heat.
Anyway, back to my thoughts...as you know (and I don't want to offend anyone), but many Texans (and I probably should include "many people from the South") generally think of New York City as a pretty impersonal place, crowded, everyone in a hurry, uncaring, etc. And then comes this blog and there are all these amazing New Yorkers who are preparing food, babysitting, caring for you and encouraging you! Isn't it interesting how we so often assume the generalizations are right and never really look past the surface. Well, this is one Texan who has a tremendous appreciation for all of you that are in New York helping Joe and Laura. Don't know you by name, but I love you dearly.
And, Joe, while our thoughts have been so directed toward Ira (and will remain so), I love reading what you and Laura write and will look forward to the time when your greatest concern will be whether or not you are grammatically correct. Love you, Aunt Jackie
I was sad to see I that I don't get to answer your word question. As a former copy editor, I am sadly entertained by things like grammar and type-sets, and my current career doesn't have room for these things.
The song I recommend for your iPod workout playlist is "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard. I have it on mine, if nothing else it makes me laugh while I slave away.
Feel free to be as random as you want to be. New York seems to be the perfect place for random mind wanderings, with all the time we spend focusing on blank subway walls, trying not to look people in the eye.
On grammar: I am so happy that there are other grammar nuts in the world. I feel so much more sane now. And while I'm at it, I'll split the difference between Stacy and Kate...the rules have changed, but I'll stick with the old-fashioned s' for as long as I can...just to avoid that horrible "Jesus's" at the end of every prayer...
On sneezes: when we first got married Brent had one of those really repressed sneezes, you know what I mean, the kind where the person just makes a little squeak as they implode and that's it. After 5 years I finally have convinced him that sneezes ought to be enjoyed, and he now sneezes like my Mom---WAAAAAAAAAA-HOOOOOOOOO!
On random thoughts: It's your blog! You should write whatever you find you have to say. But can I request a response to Yael's question sometime? Because that's been uppermost in my mind as well. (And thanks to Yael for voicing it in such a beautiful and sincere way.)
Joe...D
I agree with "Beth in Raleigh". And write whatever your heart desires. Also, there are many people here that are ready and willing to give financially.
love ya-
ca
Joe,
You know that asking Texans about grammar is like asking Yogi Berra something and getting an answer that might be right some of the time?? The "correct" answer isn't always the one that most people are expecting and can truly comprehend. For me, the best Yogism is when he was asked "what time is it? His reply, You mean now?"
As far as the balding issue, well, I guess you and your Dad will just have to work through the genetics of that question, and as for the other side of your family, you know where Top's bald spot was located!! It was where "wrinklums" were given and given often! So, ask Laura to give you some "wringlums" for ole times sake!
Please keep writing Joe (about everything)! We long to hear what you and Laura are thinking and feeling each and every day.
Love you guys!
SL
Bring it! Ira deserves to have his dad work stuff out before he starts asking questions.
I love hearing about Ira...but I also appreciate and enjoy all your other stories and insights on life. Keep 'em comin', Joe.
Man, I totally missed my opening for the plural/possessive debate. Ah well. I'll just wait here quietly for the always-popular its/it's debate.
As for the iPod, Jonathan and I had this playlist called "Guilty Pleasures" that has devolved into "Music We Think Is Awesome That Would Totally Get Us Beat Up." All kinds of humiliating stuff on there, so bad it could be its own VH1 special with snarky folk from the Upright Citizen's Brigade cracking wise over our picks... and yet, it's totally my favorite playlist. I cannot recommend assembling one of your own enough.
As always, much love to you and all of the Hays crew--and keep the insights on all subjects (and/or more "provocative synonyms," when necessary) coming.
Joe,
I have not posted on your blog, but have been following the progress of Ira. I learned of Ira through Noah Whaley's blog. I, too, have enjoyed your comments and thoughts and encourage you to continue sharing. Coming from a fellow family that ends in "S", we are the Curtises and when possessive, use Curtis's, such as "The Curtis's dog's name is Holly."
I will continue to lift up your precious son and your precious family.
Melissa Curtis
Houston, TX
I'm interested in your thoughts on prayer.
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