This Broviac line kinda freaks me out. The doctor asked me questions about our lifestyle at home because the last thing Ira needs is respiratory infection of any kind. He first asked if we had kids. I told him about Sophia. He grimaced and asked if Sophia goes to daycare. I said "no" but told him that we hope to get her in one soon. He grimaced again and said we'll talk about that later. He then asked if we had people in and out of our home. I told him of our Sunday nights and how we have 15-20 people over and, yep you guessed it, he grimaced. So according to the grimaces of this doctor, we have to quarantine our family. Heck, we'll just be the "bubble family" and hopefully Seinfeld will do an episode about us.
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On another note, I think I can safely say that Laura and I are on each other's last nerve! I'm pretty sure that neither of us likes the other at the moment. Everything is so difficult these days that at the end of the day someone needs to be blamed for what we endure and so we take it out on each other.
Don't worry though. We aren't rushing out to find the nearest divorce lawyer. It's not come to that and it won't.
There are times when we are good about taking the heat from each other. Either Laura is aware that I need to be mad and she allows that process to happen or I am aware that Laura is frustrated and I allow that process to happen. But then there are times when our reservoir of grace seems empty. My anger is met with defensiveness or her frustration is met with hostility. It's been like that over the last couple of days.
We seem to be coming out of this recent funk slowly but surely. We are both more than excited about this "weekend getaway" that I blogged about yesterday. And we are hoping that it will allow our reservoirs of grace to be refilled. And maybe, just maybe by the end of the weekend we’ll like each other again.
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On another note, I think I can safely say that Laura and I are on each other's last nerve! I'm pretty sure that neither of us likes the other at the moment. Everything is so difficult these days that at the end of the day someone needs to be blamed for what we endure and so we take it out on each other.
Don't worry though. We aren't rushing out to find the nearest divorce lawyer. It's not come to that and it won't.
There are times when we are good about taking the heat from each other. Either Laura is aware that I need to be mad and she allows that process to happen or I am aware that Laura is frustrated and I allow that process to happen. But then there are times when our reservoir of grace seems empty. My anger is met with defensiveness or her frustration is met with hostility. It's been like that over the last couple of days.
We seem to be coming out of this recent funk slowly but surely. We are both more than excited about this "weekend getaway" that I blogged about yesterday. And we are hoping that it will allow our reservoirs of grace to be refilled. And maybe, just maybe by the end of the weekend we’ll like each other again.
posted by jch at
8:34 PM
14 Comments:
I'm so happy that you have this weekend to look forward to! Sometimes, in order to be better parents, you have to allow yourselves to be better spouses. And to be better spouses, sometimes you have to leave your Parent Hats at the door for a while. Go - have fun - feel no guilt or worry. Be nothing but a couple for the weekend. Recharge, renew, and refill those reservoirs! :)
Y'all's (love those Texas words) frustration and impatience with no one and everyone is perfectly normal. This weekend's getaway is just what the doctor, God, ordered. Enjoy a moment to breathe and relax in the arms of each other and our God.
Joe and Laura, my philosophy has become, "Take one day at a time. There will soon be much better days." Just hang in there with each other (& Sophia & Jersey-don't kick the dog!)-as I KNOW you will do, noone is worried about that! It's such a normal thing to take out frustration & anger on those closest to you when you are stressed out. I know this weekend will be a wonderful one for you, and hopefully some of your frustrations will melt away. Your "reservoirs of grace" (I like that!)will be refilled, & you'll both be ready to meet the coming week.
I know your moms & dads can give you better words of wisdom, but I wanted to let you know I feel your pain & anxieties. I'm always talking to my Father about your situation. He "owes" me a few, so I'm counting on Him & all the other prayers going up to help bring you both relief from the daily difficulties. IT WILL GET BETTER!
Love you all so much,
Weedon
Joe and Laura, have a wonderful weekend! Thank you, Bryan and Yael and friends, for making this time away possible.
Y'all remain in our thoughts and prayers and our hopes and dreams. We love you, Aunt Jackie
You mean Brandon and I aren't the only ones who get on each other's last nerve every now and then? Whew. That's a relief. Thanks for being open enough to share every aspect of your journey with us.
And blessings on your "NYC weekend". May it be full of rest, good food, laughter, and each other.
I must echo the other comments and say that even couples dealing with "normal" amounts of stress tend to get on each other's nerves after a while. Its no wonder the divorce rate is so high among those who go through such things. I am thankful that many will see that even though it is tough on you right now, you won't give up. Another testimony to the world from your family's situation, one badly needed. Have a great weekend, we will be praying for recharging, renewing and learning to like each other again. Amen.
Lisa C
Joe, thank you for being you so openly. You know, we're not supposed to talk about our problems, and struggles, and difficulties, especially with our spouses and family. Because that never happens. We're all perfect ... aren't we? Like LC stated, its part of everyones life, the fight to get along and not give the devil that foothold (and sometimes the entire ladder) to destroy our relationships. And being such a U2 freak, I hear the "i still havent found what I'm looking for" echoing in the back of my head..."I have run, I have crawled, I have scaled these city walls, only to be with you."
answers.questions.solutions.peace.perfection.hope.faith. We are all looking and trusting in the BigMan.
Thanks for being real ! Although I cannot begin to imagine all that you have endured these past 8+ weeks, I can relate to wanting to pinch the other person's head off. Good news - we're all normal ! Have a fantastic time this weekend. I Praise God that Ira is growing stronger and closer to coming HOME. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
Since I have no real personal comprehension of what you and Laura are going through, I've related a lot of your experiences to those of our dear friends, David and Kelly Beller. See www.sambeller.org I pray that God will bless you with some friends and mentors who understand the unique stresses you are going through. Grace and peace.
I had tears in my eyes after watching your video to Ms. D tonight at her surprise party. What a sweet message and thank you so much for allowing us to see Ira on video - he is even cuter than his pictures!!! He looks so strong and healthy - it's hard to tell that anything is wrong with him, except for all the tubes! We wish all of you could have been there tonight. :-) We thought of you guys on Monday when we took Elijah in for a follow-up MRI at Cook's. It is hard to watch your children suffer, as you well know. He had to be put under general anesthesia, have an IV and a tube put down his throat - ugh! We got a glimpse of what you are feeling. I can't imagine dealing with that every day for 2 months like you all have. You are both very strong! The results came back stable - meaning the stroke spot has not gotten any better or worse. I'm not sure what that means right now, but they said that at least it wasn't worse - he will follow up with the neurologist where they are most likely going to schedule another MRI - another ugh!! We hope you have a wonderful refreshing weekend away - we are praying for your relationship.
Joe and Laura - Kaki here. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for the thoughtful video for Ms. D's birthday! What a wonderful surprise for her and a gift for all of us to see and hear you. Wow, I didn't know that baby Ira was so talented - I'm impressed! Your video was the highlight of the party, except for Ms. D's face when she walked in and especially when she saw Melvin standing there! We love you guys so much and seeing you and hearing your voice just reminded us all how much we miss you. Know that you are surrounded by our love always. Love, Kaki
Joe and Laura,
I echo the Fortress family in thanking you for the sweet video for Ms. D. She was very moved by your words as we all were. It was also such a blessing for us to see you and baby Ira. In response to your blog entry, Mike and I understand a little of what you must feel like at the end of the day, exhaustion...and the reality that tomorrow will end in the same exhaustion. And, because both of you are going through this together, it is difficult to ask much more of your partner even though you have so much weighing on you that needs to be heard, felt by someone who loves Ira as much as you do, who knows what it is like to also love Sophia as much as you do. Where was this in our pre-marital counseling? Yes, this is hard on a marriage. The statistics are not in our favor. (it is a good thing we don't put our faith in those). We will pray for you both as this is so hard on a family in so many ways. Have a wonderful weekend! Laugh, cuddle, sleep in, rest...You are loved, the Roy's
We are incredibly thankful you guys have a weekend just to yourselves. We hope and pray it is a time of rest, relaxation, and renewal. We wish we could be your next door neighbors, but we are so grateful you have such wonderful people close by taking care of you.
Love,
Jake and Abbie
WELL THE PARTY FOR MS D WAS GREAT. I THINK THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT WAS YALL'S VIDEO STARRING THAT WONDERFUL SINGING SENSATION "BABY IRA". YOUR THOUGHTS WERE VERY TOUCHING & REMINDED US ALL HOW MUCH WE LOVE & MISS YOU GUYS. GLAD YOUR GETTING A BREAK. REMEMBER WE'RE RIGHT HERE HANGING IN THERE WITH YOU. LOVE, BRENDA
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