From Laura:
Any given moment in room 708
Steady holding at 93…talking, cooing, looking, is that a smile? Sudden look of panic…Mom, can’t you help me? Neck and back arched, trying to breathe, to catch a breath. Crying begins…pat, pat, pat on the chest. It’s ok, mommy’s here. You’re ok sweetheart. Pat, pat, pat. Not good enough. Crying intensifies…90, 85. 75 blinking in red and sounding the alarm. Its ok…hard patting continues on the chest. 70, 65, 55…turning blue. Panic from mom and baby. Burst of oxygen needed…seize the knob and crank. Fumble through all the wires…is the Flolan line ok?…cradle and bounce being careful of the feeding tube. No unnecessary reflux, please. Calming down and coming back up…65, 75, 85 alarm subsides. Pink replaces blue. Mom and baby sweaty, clammy. Whew. Need to step out of the room and catch my breath.
My baby has come a long way but has a long way to go.
Any given moment in room 708
Steady holding at 93…talking, cooing, looking, is that a smile? Sudden look of panic…Mom, can’t you help me? Neck and back arched, trying to breathe, to catch a breath. Crying begins…pat, pat, pat on the chest. It’s ok, mommy’s here. You’re ok sweetheart. Pat, pat, pat. Not good enough. Crying intensifies…90, 85. 75 blinking in red and sounding the alarm. Its ok…hard patting continues on the chest. 70, 65, 55…turning blue. Panic from mom and baby. Burst of oxygen needed…seize the knob and crank. Fumble through all the wires…is the Flolan line ok?…cradle and bounce being careful of the feeding tube. No unnecessary reflux, please. Calming down and coming back up…65, 75, 85 alarm subsides. Pink replaces blue. Mom and baby sweaty, clammy. Whew. Need to step out of the room and catch my breath.
My baby has come a long way but has a long way to go.
posted by jch at
8:21 PM
14 Comments:
Continue to be strong Ira, Laura and Joe. My God bless you right now.
I cannot imagine what you are going through. I pray for you throughout my day. God give Ira, Laura, Joe and Sophia strength. Amen.
Lisa C
Laura, you are a great mommy. I can feel it from way out here in Texas.
love, Julie
Holy Spirit, please wrap your loving arms around Laura and Ira and Joe and Sophia as they struggle through this intense situation. Let them feel your comfort and your care while they all do what they must do to help Ira through this rough, rough time. Thank you, God, for this beautiful family and give them peace, please.
Love you guys sooooooo much!
Gram/Glo/Mom
Laura,
I continue to pray that God will wrap his loving arms around you, Ira, Joe & Sophia and that he will continue to heal Ira. We love you guys. Laura, I sent you an e-mail. Wanted to make sure you got it. Brenda
Joe and Laura,
We're praying for you every day, and I continue to be amazed by your honesty and willingness to share.
I'm liking a song right now by Anna Nalick called "Breathe (2AM)." The last verse reminds me of what you're doing.
"2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, ohho breathe"
She invites her audience to sing along with her most private thoughts, experiences and emotions if they understand. I hope you're offering us that same invitation and that we are not greedy in our desire to share this with you.
I've also been in Psalm 73 this week. The writer remembers a time that he is grieved, worried, senseless, ignorant... but recognizes that God is always holding him in his right hand. You have a lot to hold on to right now -- Ira, Sophia, and each other. He's not worried about you not singing praise songs on the train; he's holding on to you, tighter than you could ever hold him, and I'm glad you feel that.
love,
Jackie
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I had the pleasure of visiting you guys a couple days ago and being able to see Ira, and lemme tell ya, that kid's a warrior!!!!
Hey there... I tried to find a email address to contact you, but no luck. I've recently moved to Brooklyn and am seeking an emergent church to worship with, a small group, and just a great group of christian friends. Not to much to ask, huh? ;) Thought you might have some tips on that.
BTW, I'm a pediatrics resident working this month in one of Brooklyn's NICU's. Stay strong... if baby has made it this far, he will do great!
~emily
Sweet little Ira. Lord, please bring complete healing. We beg you.
Laura, thank you for sharing your joy and pain. Your love is so evident. You are an incredible mother. I am so proud to be your friend.
Love you, Kaley
Laura,
Thank you so much for giving us all that strong image to hold on to. All that mommy-love makes it so hard to see that happen to your precious son every day and yet impossible to be anywhere else. Love and many prayers - looking hopefully forward to a day when none of this will be part of the daily routine anymore.
Jen Johnson
It was such a blessing for Jake and I to witness first hand what a fighter and strong boy baby Ira continues to be. May you feel God's presence daily in room 708.
We love you guys,
Jake and Abbie
Praying for you every day...
Dear Joe, Laura, Sophia, & Ira,
Today we were in Abilene at Southern Hills with our family. Of course, sitting there was Jack, our 6 year old cousin, who just six weeks ago was strapped to a bed , recovering from the removal of a brain tumor. There he was just sitting and coloring , waiting for Children's church. The normalcy of that moment really struck me and I thought of you all and how I hope for so many "normal" moments for you. I hope that soon you are at home, exasperated at how the kids are fighting over a toy or making a mess. I hope they are running like crazy all over the Gates at the Park, I hope you have to say "shh!" at church because you can just hear little Ira over everyone else. The songs got stuck in my throat because I was so happy for Jack, but so wanting for you all. We are still praying and praying. I read some of your stuff from the last few weeks to catch up. One thing that I wanted to say is that I think you are okay with "short prayers". The best solace is sometimes sitting in silence with someone, just feeling what you are feeling. Some pain just has no words. Your heart can cry out without the English language. I don't want you to feel down about that. I think Satan tries to make us feel bad about things like that and creates a guilt spiral that disheartens us.
As for what some anonymous posters have said...When you are in a hurricane, you are worried, wet, and wonder what is going on. It seems a good comparison for suffering to me. It would be silly to say to someone in the hurricane "Don't feel wet.It's just rain. Don't feel worried.Are you just bitter??" They are wet and worried, because they are in a hurricane. Even a forecast, and knowing that at some point, the storm will end, does not help the waiting to see what will happen during the storm.It is a force out of your control. It is not lack of faith that makes you want the shelter of certainty. It is common sense to want to get out of the rain!
Praying that your storm passes quickly ,
Love & prayers,
Dave, Karise, Keely & Kinlie
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