Unknowing
We keep getting asked what Sophia is going to be for Halloween.
Laura and I have nothing against Halloween. We haven't jumped on the bandwagon and deemed Halloween "of the devil." We aren't afraid that after a night of Trick or Treating that she will have nightmares about all the other crazied costumed kids with whom she'll come in contact. It's just that she doesn't know yet.
She doesn't know that she's missing out on an opportunity to score free sweets. She doesn't know it's the cultural norm to get dressed up, go out and survey the neighborhood. She doesn't know what Trick or Treat means. This kind of innocence is appealing to Laura and me.
Early this last summer, we took Sophia to Sesame Place. You might remember viewing some of our pictures from that excursion. "Sophia crying with Bert," was the title of one picture. Another, "Sophia crying with Grover." Yet another, "Sophia crying with Oscar." On our way home from that trip, Laura and I asked each other, "Why do we do it?" Why do we spend lots of money for experiences that are miserable and will be forgotten by our child in a matter of days? Why do we go all out for costumes for one and two year old children who have no clue what Halloween is?
Our intentions are genuine in the beginning. We want to create an experience for our little ones. But in our case, we soon realize it's more an experience for us than it is for Sophia. "Sophia, smile for the camera!" is what we tell her as she begs and pleads for the candy in her bag. And then throws a classic two year old fit when we don't let her eat it all.
No thanks.
However, we could make it really simple. We could just Trick or Treat our block. It might be a great way to meet some of our neighbors and pass on a friendly, "Hello." Sophia will definitely dig the candy and those pictures will be cute, I'm sure. In exchange for candy, Sophia could give a Halloween cookie we made to our neighbors so as to teach her about giving as well as receiving.
But I keep coming back to that Age of Innocence. That Age of Unknowing. It won't last much longer so why do it? For her, really? Or for us?
Laura and I have nothing against Halloween. We haven't jumped on the bandwagon and deemed Halloween "of the devil." We aren't afraid that after a night of Trick or Treating that she will have nightmares about all the other crazied costumed kids with whom she'll come in contact. It's just that she doesn't know yet.
She doesn't know that she's missing out on an opportunity to score free sweets. She doesn't know it's the cultural norm to get dressed up, go out and survey the neighborhood. She doesn't know what Trick or Treat means. This kind of innocence is appealing to Laura and me.
Early this last summer, we took Sophia to Sesame Place. You might remember viewing some of our pictures from that excursion. "Sophia crying with Bert," was the title of one picture. Another, "Sophia crying with Grover." Yet another, "Sophia crying with Oscar." On our way home from that trip, Laura and I asked each other, "Why do we do it?" Why do we spend lots of money for experiences that are miserable and will be forgotten by our child in a matter of days? Why do we go all out for costumes for one and two year old children who have no clue what Halloween is?
Our intentions are genuine in the beginning. We want to create an experience for our little ones. But in our case, we soon realize it's more an experience for us than it is for Sophia. "Sophia, smile for the camera!" is what we tell her as she begs and pleads for the candy in her bag. And then throws a classic two year old fit when we don't let her eat it all.
No thanks.
However, we could make it really simple. We could just Trick or Treat our block. It might be a great way to meet some of our neighbors and pass on a friendly, "Hello." Sophia will definitely dig the candy and those pictures will be cute, I'm sure. In exchange for candy, Sophia could give a Halloween cookie we made to our neighbors so as to teach her about giving as well as receiving.
But I keep coming back to that Age of Innocence. That Age of Unknowing. It won't last much longer so why do it? For her, really? Or for us?
posted by jch at
11:38 AM
6 Comments:
I wish our 2.5 year old didn't know about Halloween, but in my husband's family its bigger than Christmas. She picked out a princess outfit which would be the last thing on my list that I would ever pick for her. But she's as happy as could be and will probably be wearing for a long time.
I don't comment here often, but know that we are praying for you and your sweet family. So glad Ira is home and hope he is adjusting well, as well as the rest of the family!
I wonder why all the young parents have to buy costumes? We enjoyed making costumes for our children and got them involved in the thinking and making process. It was a family project and was a lot of fun. We usually limited our "visits" to those neighbors close to us and people from church, the surrogate mothers, fathers, g-mothers, etc. It wasn't a big deal, but always fun.
You don't have to bend to the world's idea of holidays, but you can re-invent them and make them your own family traditions and put your own spin on them. That way they can participate but not indulge!
We are doing the "Trunk or Treat" with the community invited tonight at our church. It should be fun, and interesting, especially if it rains like it is predicted. Have a safe one!
Peggy in Texas
I am very much with you on this, Joe. I feel similarly about visits from Santa and the Easter Bunny.
My mom has said when my brother and I were young -- and our family went on vacation -- that we kids always has the most fun swimming in the hotel pool. In other words, there was really no need to make big trips to DisneyWorld, etc. We were perfectly happy getting dunked by our dad.
I think our society tells us otherwise...talk about peer pressure!
Joe, Ryan here. The truth of Halloween is that many times it is more for us parents wanting to give our children "the experience." However, Isaac (at age 5 last year) didn't even know he missed it because we were on a camping trip with our church group from Grace Bible. Jackie and I debated on whether or not we should tell him...In the end, he didn't even know he missed it and Jackie and didn't "have" to eat all that candy. Isaac is now 6 and can "trick or treat" with the the most experienced pro. As it turns out, they really don't need a lot of practice after all...
Found your blog through a friend. I hope you're doing well. I'm praying for Ira. God bless, Susan Mullican
What great parents you are! Keep this same perspective when it comes to extracurricular activities - is it for them, or us?
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