exposed
from the pen of Laura
I know there are many of you out there that love Ira and have followed his story for a couple of years now. Some of you have actually met him and others of you only know him through this blog. Recently you have seen pictures and vlogs of him eating and walking.
Well, I think it is time for you to meet the real Ira.
One of the very best words to describe Ira is stubborn. I have never met a more stubborn individual...aside from his dad. If I want him to work on a puzzle and he is not in the mood, forget it. He will do everything he can with the puzzle piece to avoid putting it in the actual puzzle. When he works with his therapists, he often sets the agenda for the session due to what suits his fancy. Every now and then our PT takes him to the stoop to sit on the steps. Yesterday it was raining but that didn't stop Ira from throwing a fit at the door insisting they go out.
Yes, that's right. Ira has begun throwing fits. On Friday when our speech therapist arrived, Ira was not in the mood to work on eating/swallowing. The books and toys were not incentive enough. He threw the biggest tantrum in his high chair and it took at least five minutes to get him calmed down and distracted. Unfortunately for Ira when he trows a fit, he begins to cough and choke and usually ends up throwing up. Nice.
And then there is the hitting. This child loves to communicate with his hands. Unfortunately it's not usually with the sign language we've worked on but rather a slap on the arm or leg. When he wants to sit on my lap he slaps my leg over and over until I get his point. He loves to grab his sister's hair or pull on her shirt (and his grip is out of this world). When I tell him no, he hits me instead. This is definitely a problem.
When Sophia was young, we used to say, "Your hands are not for hitting. They are for helping, hugs, and high-fives." This worked really well until her little brother started whacking away at her. Now at any given moment they can be found having a slapfest which inevitably ends with someone in tears.
Needless to say, Ira feels a lot of frustration and doesn't have the tools he needs to properly communicate. Plus, he is old enough to know what's to be had on the other side of the front door and runs to the window every time one of us leaves. He hates being left behind and yet this is still his reality.
Of course there's more to Ira than hitting, crying and throwing fits. But, he's two. I think he's right on schedule.
Ira has a pajama shirt that says "Mommy's little monster." That's my Ira in a nutshell.
-
I know there are many of you out there that love Ira and have followed his story for a couple of years now. Some of you have actually met him and others of you only know him through this blog. Recently you have seen pictures and vlogs of him eating and walking.
Well, I think it is time for you to meet the real Ira.
One of the very best words to describe Ira is stubborn. I have never met a more stubborn individual...aside from his dad. If I want him to work on a puzzle and he is not in the mood, forget it. He will do everything he can with the puzzle piece to avoid putting it in the actual puzzle. When he works with his therapists, he often sets the agenda for the session due to what suits his fancy. Every now and then our PT takes him to the stoop to sit on the steps. Yesterday it was raining but that didn't stop Ira from throwing a fit at the door insisting they go out.
Yes, that's right. Ira has begun throwing fits. On Friday when our speech therapist arrived, Ira was not in the mood to work on eating/swallowing. The books and toys were not incentive enough. He threw the biggest tantrum in his high chair and it took at least five minutes to get him calmed down and distracted. Unfortunately for Ira when he trows a fit, he begins to cough and choke and usually ends up throwing up. Nice.
And then there is the hitting. This child loves to communicate with his hands. Unfortunately it's not usually with the sign language we've worked on but rather a slap on the arm or leg. When he wants to sit on my lap he slaps my leg over and over until I get his point. He loves to grab his sister's hair or pull on her shirt (and his grip is out of this world). When I tell him no, he hits me instead. This is definitely a problem.
When Sophia was young, we used to say, "Your hands are not for hitting. They are for helping, hugs, and high-fives." This worked really well until her little brother started whacking away at her. Now at any given moment they can be found having a slapfest which inevitably ends with someone in tears.
Needless to say, Ira feels a lot of frustration and doesn't have the tools he needs to properly communicate. Plus, he is old enough to know what's to be had on the other side of the front door and runs to the window every time one of us leaves. He hates being left behind and yet this is still his reality.
Of course there's more to Ira than hitting, crying and throwing fits. But, he's two. I think he's right on schedule.
Ira has a pajama shirt that says "Mommy's little monster." That's my Ira in a nutshell.
-
posted by jch at
9:16 AM
9 Comments:
I love it! I know these are trying times but it is "normal" or "typical." I'm not trying to minimize your struggles because they are just that, struggles. I just know that with John we rejoiced when he started having an "opinion" even if it wasn't what we would prefer and we rejoiced when he noticed we were leaving him and we rejoiced (a little) when he would tantrum & hit because he WAS communicating. We even rejoiced when John, James and Rosemary go at it; pushing, shoving, yelling "moooo-ooooooom!!" At one point in John's life we wondered if we or James or John would ever have those experiences. It's very bittersweet, I understand. This may sound weird since I've only met you once but I miss you all! :D Blessings!
We always said our John is fiesty! We also feel that was a big part of him surviving. All that spunk is great to have when in survival mode! :-)
John met with a developmental pshycologist this month. We talked about the same things you are going through and how to deal with them. Call me if you want some tips - they are working for John. He has stopped biting and pulling off his vent.
Laura,
Ira sounds like a very typical terrible 2! I'm sure this behavior is frustrating and comforting at the same time. Ella is still talking about Sophia. Especially since we saw your parents over the weekend in Texas. When will you be in St. Louis? We plan to visit again sometime this summer too. For now, hopefully Sophia and Ira won't hit each other too hard. I can imagine he is very strong!
thanks for that post, laura. for better or for worse it's nice to have a fuller picture of all the colors of 2-year-old-Ira these days. he generally seems on a bit better behavior whenever he's at church. ;-)
AH, the Combo Deal! The two year-old + the strong-willed child! Gotta love them!
It's a gift. Truly. And I know that you are wise enough to already know it.
So, be encouraged! We are mom's who survived the Combo Deal!
Definitely a normal two-year-old. Alex is incredibly stubborn too, and though he's usually cheerful, he easily breaks out into angry howls when he can't do something he wants to do. He also tends to smack people. Lately he'll tell us "Don't hit people!"...after he's just finished hitting one of us.
I appreciate Laura's candid description of Ira and his stubbornness, and I'm sure she knows whereof she speaks. However, having spent about half an hour with him yesterday at the Hays's Brooklyn home, I must say that the young man stole my heart. I observed him to be thoroughly outgoing, charming and a perfect gentleman. His relatives in St. Louis and Texas are in for a huge treat next month.
Mark
this is harry. those who get less time with him are convinced he never has a bad day, but our Immanuel core team has asked, on occasion, "should he be that upset over not getting a yogurt drink?"
the answer is, of course, twofold.
1) no one should ever be even mildly upset over not getting a yogurt drink because they are, in fact, disgusting
2) yes, it is "normal" for him to have that reaction to not getting one
Your Ira sounds like my Matthew in that they're both stubborn. :-)
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