couple of things
I'm going to sit down and make the playlists the latter part of this week. Your many responses are appreciated and thanks to my super cool brother-in-law I now have a little iTunes money to spend. Yippee! I'll let you know how those playlists turn out.
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On another note, Hilary led our church in communion this past Sunday. Her meditation was moving. With her permission, I'm linking to her blog in which she posted her thoughts. It's worth your time to check out what she had to say. Check it here.
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On a whim, Laura tried something with Ira today. I'm not quite ready to tell you what that something is but let me just say, it was huge and it was a raging success. I know, I know. It's not very nice of me to leave you hanging like this but you'll have to trust me. It's worth waiting to hear what Ira did today. In due time, I'll let you in on it.
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I wrapped up a pre-marital counseling gig with a couple tonight. They asked if Laura could be in on the last session so we made it happen. They asked us, What are dumb things you've done in your marriage? What are smart things you've done in your marriage?
I didn't necessarily answer their questions in this way but here's what I've got to say now that I've had time to think:
DUMB: Didn't seek help soon enough when crisis was right around the corner.
SMART: Sought help immediately following crisis which helped us make sense of our conversation regarding the crisis.
DUMB: Bought a car impulsively.
SMART: Will be debt free in 18 months! Bye-bye, student loans!
DUMB: Went a couple of years while in grad school without a community of faith.
SMART: Haven't been without since.
DUMB: Starting sentences with, "I want," or "I need..."
SMART: Starting sentences with, "How can I help you?" or "What can I do for you?"
DUMB: assume
SMART: ask
There's more. Much more. But this is where I would start. What about you? What are dumb things you've done in your marriage? What are smart things you've done in your marriage?
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On another note, Hilary led our church in communion this past Sunday. Her meditation was moving. With her permission, I'm linking to her blog in which she posted her thoughts. It's worth your time to check out what she had to say. Check it here.
------------------
On a whim, Laura tried something with Ira today. I'm not quite ready to tell you what that something is but let me just say, it was huge and it was a raging success. I know, I know. It's not very nice of me to leave you hanging like this but you'll have to trust me. It's worth waiting to hear what Ira did today. In due time, I'll let you in on it.
------------------
I wrapped up a pre-marital counseling gig with a couple tonight. They asked if Laura could be in on the last session so we made it happen. They asked us, What are dumb things you've done in your marriage? What are smart things you've done in your marriage?
I didn't necessarily answer their questions in this way but here's what I've got to say now that I've had time to think:
DUMB: Didn't seek help soon enough when crisis was right around the corner.
SMART: Sought help immediately following crisis which helped us make sense of our conversation regarding the crisis.
DUMB: Bought a car impulsively.
SMART: Will be debt free in 18 months! Bye-bye, student loans!
DUMB: Went a couple of years while in grad school without a community of faith.
SMART: Haven't been without since.
DUMB: Starting sentences with, "I want," or "I need..."
SMART: Starting sentences with, "How can I help you?" or "What can I do for you?"
DUMB: assume
SMART: ask
There's more. Much more. But this is where I would start. What about you? What are dumb things you've done in your marriage? What are smart things you've done in your marriage?
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posted by jch at
9:48 PM
12 Comments:
I always felt that the way you treat each other through hard times is very important to your marriage and how strong it is.
Dumb: I stopped giving him attention
Smart: I apoligize and wrote him a letter, went out to dinner and talked for hours.
Dumb: I quit fighting for her....
Smart: I realized she didn't want me to fight for her any more..
Dumb: To blame one another for our misfortune.
Smart: Working together as a team and thanking god for the happiness and strength we give each other every day.
Dumb: Focused on making Maria happy by "doing" things and, as a result, she became an idol in my life.
Smart: Realized that the best way to make her happy is to have a strong personal relationship with the Lord and am trying to focus on that now (knowing that service to her will naturally be a part of that).
Dumb: Talk
Smart: Listen
dumb: didn't pray much
smart: pray a lot!
DUMB: forgot that it's possible to NOT say that thing you just thought
SMART: learned how to laugh in the middle of an argument at how ridiculous we are
Dumb: Turning into a psychologist during an argument and diagnosing what the (her) issues really were before they were fully exposed.
Smart: Letting the argument take its own course, and resolving the argument in its own course.
Dumb: Going to bed angry, but especially with each of us precariously perched on our respective edges of the bed. To ensure that at no time would any skin even possibly consider touching.
Smart: Holding hands during an argument. NOT easy to initiate, VERY awkward at first, but it made a world of difference.
It's too late in the evening to reflect on my marriage, but I have to ask...did Ira use the potty?? Is that the big secret???
If so, he needs to give Brady a call and tell him that it's the cool thing to do and all the big boys are doing it.
SMART - partaking in marital counseling with a Christian counselor (both before we were engaged to be married and after we had our first child)
DUMB - driving in Dallas traffic together
dumb: fussing at him when he didn't match the kid(s) outfits like i would have
smart: being thankful that he wants to take the kids by himself to run errands, who cares if they are wearing red and blue and brown at the same time?!
dumb: getting slightly jealous that he can 'escape' from the sometimes hectic married life with 3 kids for 3-5 days at a time while he's at work
smart: enjoying the time that we're together.
on another note: is it too late to add to the playlists?
i have one for the blog cd:
ants marching by the matthews band~one of my alltime favorite songs!
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